Beyond
Inspirationen für mehr Lust und Liebe im Alltag
Frauen
Paare
Männer
Hello Unicorn
Regardless of who you are, what your sexual orientation is, what gender you choose for yourself, no matter how you were born, what kind of relationships you want to settle into, or what attracts you erotically: Welcome.
Sexual Orientation
Binary models
With this site we want to provide everyone with inspiration for more lust and love in life.
Take a look around and if you read anything that resonates with you, feel free to apply whatever you need to your daily life. Concurrent with this inclusivity, we are using very classic binary models on this site, such as: man and woman, male and female. As well as black and white. Although, we think of it more as dark gray, and then we also have gold to offer.
Our point is, we realize that binary models always come with a big disadvantage – they simplify the world. And due to this simplification of our reality, it usually does not take much to arrive at the following conclusion: being „normal“ means being „right“ and „good“.
However, this is not our intention here at all. Thus, we go at least one step further by understanding masculine and feminine not only as the labels of two genders but as poles that span a continuum between them.
In this case, we no longer use the term binary, but rather refer to a bipolar model. And if there is black and white, then there is, for example, Fifty Shades of Grey. Pun intended.
The world is colourful
And as we all know, today’s world is actually a very colorful place. So colorful and complex that we may lose our bearings at times. Clear boundaries no longer exist, nor do binding norms and values. And hey, that’s a good thing. As humans, we are given a freedom that has probably never existed before in our history. At least not for a broad layer of the population.
However, sometimes this freedom can also prove to be a burden. In its vastness and infinity, we might lose our focus. We prefer not to talk about it, but I am convinced that almost everyone who reads this has already experienced it. In any case, this is how it is for me.
That’s when we begin to wish for clear structures again that provide us with a sense of security. Due to the fear of losing social structures, I believe that many people desire clear social models when it comes to family and partnership. Otherwise, where does that lead… and what impact could that have on children and family security?
Such concerns are valid and represent the antithesis of individual freedom. In this context, it should also be pointed out that not only the laws of a country impose limits on individual freedom, but also the cultural limits of lived conventions. People opting for UNconventional life models have to expect social exclusion. And that is very painful, because as human beings, all of us share a deeply rooted desire to be accepted – embraced, even – by our fellow human beings, for who we are.
This site strives to contribute to more lust and love in life. Conversely, it also aims to relieve current sorrow. This is one aspect that we focus on in our courses and programs. Emotional pain is usually caused by the feeling of not being accepted or being rejected. We explicitly do not want to contribute to this in our texts and aspire to communicate inclusively.
Here, the value of binary models comes into play, as long as we do not perceive them as actually binary, but rather dissolve this hard division and instead think in bipolar terms. We believe that bipolar models are valuable ways of thinking, considering the reality in which we live today. Then, the two poles of a bipolar model are no longer perceived as, either | or, seeing as the poles contribute to our orientation now. A continuum stretches from one pole to the other, such as male and female, which we can then use as an orientation. By adding another axis, we already get a two-dimensional space where we can position ourselves and others. Comparable to using a compass distinguishing between east – west, and south – north, we can navigate in a space with several axes.
Being able to position ourselves in such a way gives us security, not only in the real world, but also in an emotional sphere. On this site, we want to understand all distinctions that were originally understood as binary in this way: as bipolar models with axes in a mental space that provide us with an orientation.
Fidelity
In this context, it must be mentioned that these days each of us defines fidelity individually.
Therefore, it is no longer a matter of that one familiar concept that leads to the question: Have you slept with her or him? Although this aspect remains very important during such discussions. But why? Let’s talk about that later.
There is a better way to define the poles of the continuum of fidelity. And whoops, unfortunately, one dimension is not going to suffice.
Sexual Fidelity
In fact, there is sexual fidelity, which is understood as sexual exclusivity by most couples. In other words, the couple has agreed that erotic stimulation is only acceptable with each other.
At first glance, this may sound quite simple, but at second glance it is not. It raises the question as to whether a hot flirt is still within the accepted consensus or not. After all, sexual fidelity may range from desiring looks at other people, to erotic chats as well as physical unions.
Nowadays, a couple either has to define for themselves what is considered acceptable, or the definition remains unclear for years. As for the word „union“, there is one more thing I would like to point out. This term provides a good transition to the next dimension of fidelity.
Union – that sounds like more than just sex. It sounds like intimacy.
At this point, we are entering the realm of a different kind of fidelity. We are talking about a person with whom I am creating an emotionally intimate space.
In order to get a better understanding of this, it helps to feel into yourself for a moment to determine the actual distance that you like to maintain between yourself and strangers. Although this distance varies from one person to another, at a certain point it gets too close for all of us. We require a certain distance to strangers in order to feel safe.
Once we know the person a little better, after having developed an emotional connection with them, they may come closer to us, physically as well as mentally.
After all, and this shall be noted here only in passing, body and psyche are in a continuous state of connection and mutually adapt to one another. It is necessary to keep this in mind, it is something we have known for a long time.
And here lies the crux in attempting to separate sexual encounters from intimate connections. Well, let’s put it this way, it only works to a certain extent. And usually, it does not work well in the long run.
innere Welt ent-zwei. Ein auf die Dauer hoher Preis. Ohnehin meist für andere, oft auch für uns selbst. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed diam voluptua. At vero eos et accusam et justo duo dolores et ea rebum.
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Für diese Gefühle sind Königreiche unter gegangen und sie lassen uns wie nichts anderes lebendig fühlen. Es ist beraus-chend wie ein Fest und kann eine Insel im Alltag sein. In einer langjährigen Partnerschaft, aber nicht nur dort, erscheint das mit einem Menschen der uns nicht so nahe ist wie unser Partner, oft einfacher. Und es spaltet unsere äußere und eben auch unsere innere Welt ent-zwei. Ein auf die Dauer hoher Preis. Ohnehin meist für andere, oft auch für uns selbst. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consetetur sadipscing elitr, sed diam nonumy eirmod tempor invidunt ut labore et dolore magna aliquyam erat, sed
